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Scarlett on Films

You Can’t Touch This

by Scarlett on December 27, 2009 · View Comments

in Scarlett on Films

Avatar

So, Avatar … If I were a blogger worth my salt, I would have written a review within mere minutes of returning from viewing, but in all honesty I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about the film. Was I entertained? Absolutely. (I saw it in regular 2D and will hereby state for the record that you absolutely can enjoy this film outside of IMAX or 3D effects, so don’t let anyone strong-arm you into paying a higher ticket price!) However, there have been many criticisms that – at its basis – Avatar is a wildly unoriginal retelling of films like Dances With Wolves and Pocahontas. And really, any “fish out of water falls in love” story could apply. But what makes it innovative are all the ancillary details that surround the core story. Being set in the year 2154 and taking place on other planets; a human assimilating into another culture whilst operating an avatar into which their consciousness has been transferred; the culture of the Na’Vi people and how they connect to the many and varied lifeforms around them.

However, Avatar isn’t without its flaws. Jake Sully, the “hero” of our story, seems to have been teleported straight out of a 1970’s post-Vietnam war movie. Why is he still operating a manual wheelchair in the year 2154? Or better yet, why is he even in this condition? It seemed like a cop-out that despite all the tremendously sophisticated technology that was displayed in the film, a paraplegic living in 2154 would still be tooling around in an old-school wheelchair. And Grace smoking cigarettes? In 150 years, people will still be choking on cancer sticks? I guess in some ways, showing two of the film’s most vital characters as flawed humans is more relatable than if they had been perfect specimens of humanity. Still, when you set a movie so far ahead in the future, seeing a little evolution in medical advances and intelligence would have been appreciated.

As you can see, I think fully enjoying this film depends upon your ability to suspend reality, forgo cynicism, and overlook the foibles that will occur to you as you’re watching. As such, the first thing that occurred to me as I was leaving the theater was how much more I would have loved it had I been an awestruck 12 year old once more. Because here’s the thing … I go to movies to be entertained or affected in some way. Whether it’s being moved to laughter or tears; riveted with anticipation; on the edge of my seat in excitement; really any kind of emotion that gets stirred up in a satisfying way makes for a great movie-going experience. And I think as you get older, it takes more doing to eek out those instinctual reactions than it did in childhood. So as the credits rolled, I thought about Jurassic Park – a film that came out when I was 13 and was – perhaps still is – one of the most affecting films I’ve ever seen in a theater. Intense, exciting, terrifying, blood-pumping, heart-racing, you name it. These days, thrills in the theater are a dime a dozen, but back then, Jurassic Park was a revelation. And I can see Avatar becoming the younger generation’s Jurassic Park. It has the fantastical storyline, the special effects, the drama, the excitement. It’s already become one of those rare films that people are making noteworthy for the sense of awe and wonder it stirred within them. But to each their own! And in like fashion, I thought I’d share a few of the films that made an indelible impression in my tender years that are destined – in my eyes – to never be faded, replicated, or duplicated.

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

Although my first viewing of 1971’s Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory was a goodly 15 years after its initial release, it was as bright and shiny and bizarrely-beautiful as anything being made in the mid-1980’s. It’s definitely one of those films that colored my childhood with a vividly-hued brush stroke of slight madness and immense wonder. I remember secretly licking the wallpaper in various friends’ homes and hoping to finally find one that tasted like schnozberries, and throwing pennies into the mall fountains, wishing that someday I’d grow up and have my own edible mecca of candy-flavored delights. I could never open a Hershey’s bar without biting my lip in anticipation and hoping beyond hope for a glimpse of gold. And although I always fast-forwarded our worn out VHS tape through that maudlin “Cheer Up, Charlie” song (easily the low point of the film), the movie as a whole delighted me every time. Gene Wilder will always be Willy Wonka to me, and I pity the fool who saw the Johnny Depp version first (which I abjectly refuse to watch in full). Definitely one of my lifelong, nostalgic favorites. “A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” – Willy Wonka

Labyrinth

Speaking of fantastical films that are as timeless now as they were in my childhood, 1986’s Labyrinth has so many brilliant things going for it, it’s almost impossible to pick a favorite element. First and foremost, when you’ve got a film directed by Jim Hensen and produced by George Lucas, it already has “epic” written all over it. Add in the innovative use of Hensen’s Creature Shop Muppets, a fabulously memorable (and quotable) soundtrack, and a truly unique story that’s immensely relateable to kids and teenagers, and you’ve got movie magic. Oh, and there’s the matter of a certain character called Jareth, played by the incomparable David Bowie (although the billing probably should have been shared with his crotch as well!) I also love Jennifer Connelly in this film, and how at times she seemed every bit the bratty teenager, and at other times a worldly soul. Plus she totally cosplayed before it was chic to do so, making her extra full of win! I’ve heard whisperings about a remake of Labyrinth, but I couldn’t find any information to support this (thank goodness!) And besides, no one – but no one – could rock those spandex tights like Bowie! Om nom nom.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) is one of those films that I can practically quote front-to-back, but never fail to find hilarity in re-watching. In fact, I like to think that my repeat viewings over the past 20 years have contributed to my love of dorky humor and innuendo – not to mention, my still simmering crush on Billy the Kid. (What?! He’s a cutie!) It’s also got to be one of the most immensely quotable movies I’ve ever seen (you can barely go 2 minutes without mentally cataloging a favorite line of dialog) and the fact that I randomly ended up moving to the city where Bill & Ted’s was filmed still tickles me to no end. It’s also another one of those films with a fantastic soundtrack, and although some might say that the movie feels a bit aged (the phone booth teleporter, most notably), it doesn’t feel like an 80’s flick in the same way that John Hughes films of the same era tend to. And I have to say, if I were forced to watch only one movie for the rest of my life, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure might just be it. (Don’t get me started on the lackluster sequel …) In closing, I’d like to leave you with this sentiment: “SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!”

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

This one came out of left field, hmmm? Although I can’t say I was quite so “tender” in years when it was released, 2000’s Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon rounds out my short-list of films that have had a profound effect on my movie-watching experiences over the years. You might argue that better Wuxia style films have been made, but CTHD was the first I’d ever seen and I believe it still holds the distinction of being the highest-grossing foreign language film in American history, and was a true breakthrough in a country where many movie-goers turn up their noses at subtitled fare. Having never seen anything like it, I was captured by the martial artistry that managed to be simultaneously delicate and fierce – a lethal ballet, if you will. It had an equally strong story filled with romance, defiance, tradition, and indeed, its fair share of death. I eagerly awaited similar films that followed, such as Hero and House of Flying Daggers, but neither managed to be as emotionally stirring or breathtakingly exciting as CTHD. It’s one of the last films that had me wide-eyed and wowed as I watched it, and that it was filmed on a $15 million dollar budget is testament that you don’t need to spend a fortune to make an effective action-adventure film!

So I’d have loved to see Avatar 15 or 20 years ago; barring that, it would have been interesting to see it with someone who was younger, less worldly and cynical, and more able to be swept up in the story and the effects. And see, that’s the thing – you really can’t review this film without mentioning the special effects, and for good reason. I think they really are done brilliantly, if you’re not one who scoffs at all things CGI. (Personally, I’m all for it!) But strip away the CGI and setting, and you’ve got a familiar story that plays a little tiredly to those of us who have many memorable films to compare it to. However, for many people, Avatar will be the high watermark of film-making for many years to come – and that truly is the touchstone of an effective film, I’d say. After all, three out of the four movies I mentioned above performed very modestly at the box office, but what makes them legendary in my mind is how much I loved them at the time and how much I still adore them to this day. So to all who were awestruck and enchanted by Avatar, remember it well – and go back and see it again if time allows. Some day you’ll be reminiscing about your favorite films, and how you felt the first time you saw them is something that you’ll never forget.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and I’ll see you again in the new year! ♥

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Nude Moon

by Scarlett on November 22, 2009 · View Comments

in Scarlett on Films

Obvious joke is obvious!

New Moon … Oh dear god. It was brutal in it’s sheer atrociousness. Other than the gratuitously half-naked underaged boys, this film had absolutely no substance – and yet, it’s shattering box office records faster than a sparkly bloodsucker with a whore-wolf on its tail. Sadly, this only serves to confirm that Stephenie Meyer’s laughable “vampires” are sucking the fragile brain cells from the minds of girls and women everywhere who have been seduced by its pathetic tragedy. But why?

Do they relate to the emo desperation of Bella, who is both maddeningly needy and ruthlessly manipulative? She reminds me so much of the girls I went to school with in the 90’s – the ones who slunked in the corners of the cafeteria, hiding their bony bodies under epic layers of grungy flannel, listening to Pearl Jam on their discmans while they secretly cut themselves with plastic knives. Now there’s a role model! Or is it Edward, the enigmatic, mysterious, “impossibly gorgeous” vampire who quotes Shakespeare with a constipated grimace because he’s so deep? Sounds appealing on the surface, but let’s look a bit deeper. Not only is he physically abusive, but he abandons Bella in the woods, when he knows she’ll fruitlessly chase after him, likely getting herself lost. He’s perpetually PMS’ing for one reason or another, and he claims to have no soul … Or a damned soul … Or something. Oh, and his penis is so lethal that if he sticks in it you, you’re dead – which means he’s essentially a walking STD. Say it with me, kids: “I’d hit that!”

And then there’s Jacob, an ambiguously Native American kid who’s the epitome of the “nice guy who finishes last” – until he finally mans up and becomes a werewolf. And yet, despite having spontaneously grown a pair of pecs that look like honey baked hams, he still doesn’t get the girl. Best line of the movie, as quoth by Bella to a (perpetually shirtless) Jacob, as he’s begging her to stay: “Don’t make me choose …” (Looks back at Edward) “Because it will be him.”

CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT! I hope Jacob develops a sexual fixation with your rapidly aging daughter someday.

… Oh wait, that actually happens later in the series. Have I mentioned that Stephenie Meyer is seriously fucked up?

Nude Moon
The abs that launched a thousand tween-gasms.

I really don’t know what else to say, except that there’s virtually nothing redemptive in this film – and unless endless scenes of Taylor Lautner’s steroided upper-body sounds appealing, you’ll be frantically grasping for something to huff so you can be put out of your misery. There’s unintentional humor, sure – but is it worth your $10? 2012 would definitely be a better choice if you want to be amused and moderately entertained. And don’t forget having to put up with the legions of Twitards, who are as loathsome as you might expect. Actually, that reminds me – my favorite part of this whole experience was after the movie, when some dude drove past a gaggle of swooning New Moon attendees, rolled down his window, hurled his soda cup at one of their heads, and drove off. EPIC!

So that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it. This movie blows, and there are at least TWO more to suffer through. Curses! Next time, remind me to bring a vibrating touch. At least I’ll get something productive done with my time. ;-)

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Where the Wild Things Are

by Scarlett on October 26, 2009 · View Comments

in Scarlett on Films

Where the Wild Things Are

Ahhh, childhood. That simultaneously confusing and illuminating time when nothing seemed to go our way, and yet the mysteries of the world finally began to make sense. I was a certified Good Girl growing up (hence my propensity for naughtiness the older I get!) and there wasn’t much that truly provoked me to act out in defiance. That’s not to say that I was so even-keeled that my deepest emotions were never “inflamed”. After all, I grew up in the ’80s. And in the ’80s, there was Bowie.

Oh, David Bowie has had his influence in several other decades, but none quite had the impact of his turn as Jareth the Goblin King in Labyrinth. The accent! The singing! The undeniably prominent bulge in his spandex pants that had my cherubic cheeks turning as strawberry-colored as my hair! Jareth was my secret boyfriend – the ultimate “bad boy” – and the movie as a whole was at times strange, nonsensical, brilliant, hilarious, and thoughtful. While other kids graduated to the oeuvre of Disney animated films, I held stubbornly to my assertion that Labyrinth was one of the true classics, and couldn’t possibly be matched.

Then Where the Wild Things Are came along, 20+ years after the fact. And while it’s nowhere near Labyrinth on the Awesomesauce Meter, WTWTA does give the former a run for its money in terms of fantasy, oddity, and the poetic interpretation of growing up.

With that said, I’m not altogether certain I actually enjoyed Where the Wild Things Are. In fact, I had to ask Spoony for help translating the film’s message and metaphors, and I appreciated it more after I had a better understanding of what the original story had been about. In a nutshell, WTWTA is a spare picture book by Maurice Sendak, written in the 1960’s and adapted into various forms over the years. At its core, the book is about how the hero, a boy named Max, begins to learn about conquering his emotions and bridging the gap between being a wild and carefree boy, and being accountable for his actions. If it sounds ripe for the Disney/Pixar treatment, you might be surprised.

Spike Jonze (whom I’m was most familiar with as a music video director – remember those?) turned the sparse, 10 sentence book into a screenplay with Dave Eggers, and the combination of his adaptation and directing is a film that’s quirky, curious, visually appealing, but still lacking in a way that suggests that such short works of fiction really aren’t meant for the full-length film treatment. After watching it, the song “Nothing Much Happens” by Ben Lee kept playing in my mind: “a lot goes on, but nothing happens.”

While others thrive on their ability to dissect specific scenes or pick out little nuances, I’m an “experience the movie as a whole” kind of person. So as an experience, WTWTA was interesting but failed to capture me as a viewer. I think perhaps I was hoping that the little girl who thrilled to the Goblins and Fraggles as a child would be captivated by the film, but all I could think was “this isn’t a kid’s movie” and “something is missing”.

That something, however, certainly did not rest on the shoulders of the actors. Max Records, who karmically shares his first name with hero of the story, is luminous. With next to no acting experience prior to WTWTA, he carries the film extraordinarily well and there’s not a hint of hesitation in his dedication to the character. The actors supplying the voices of the Wild Things (most notably James Gandolfini as “Carol”) did a respectable job – although I think the vast majority of the praise for the Wild Things should go to the wizards at Jim Henson’s Creature Shop who created the extraordinary animatronics. In fact, the distinct lack of CGI and special effects are what saved this movie from cheesy, over-produced banality, in my opinion. There’s been some criticism of Jonze’s “shaky cam” style, but I liked that it gave the film more realism. I was also in favor of the very quirky soundtrack, written and performed by Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, which definitely lent itself to the art house vibe that I think Jonze was hoping to capture. WTWTA is a juxtaposition between a Hollywood budget-buster and those sentimental indies that play for two week engagements at the local art theatre. I’m not sure if it succeeds in the crack, but it’s got style. So what doesn’t it have?

Awwwwwwww yeah.
‘Nuff said. ;-)

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